Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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