Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
