dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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