College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
