sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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