Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
