ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
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it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
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I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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