Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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