There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
