I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
