Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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