I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
