My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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