Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
