he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
