i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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