she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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