you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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