Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
