STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
