i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
