my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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