Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My feet surprised me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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