drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So many bounce houses so little time
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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