Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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