When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
