so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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