If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
