I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
