You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
