That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
