did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
