sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
