Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
