Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
