North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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