we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
