I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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