omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
