Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
