Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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