he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize