Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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