Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
