Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
