did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
