Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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