Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
