i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
