I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
