I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I FOUND THE LEGS
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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