Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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