Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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