too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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