Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
