I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
