I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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