He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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