Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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