if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
