it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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