Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm really busy with my period
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