take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
