you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
